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The clothes make the man. Sad but true. Be sure to wear something elegant and professional looking. Something with taste and style. And above all, something low cut.

Be yourself. You're intelligent, passionate, witty, and attractive. Have a good time and wow the attendees.

See, that's the odd thing, JD: I CAN be social. I've got the whole witty-charming-person thing down to a "T." What I can't do is bring myself to use social connections to my own advantage.

Weird, I know. I have no qualms about, for example, calling a government official and asking pointed questions which I know will piss him off. Want me to ask a drug warrior how long she thinks a paraplegic medical marijuana user needs to stay in prison? Easy and fun. Hell, at the Advocate I pitched certain stories to my editor solely so I could make such "gotcha" phone calls. But making phone calls or asking questions for my own personal benefit makes me freeze.

First of all, how you comport yourself on the panel will be the biggest factor in how successful you are. Think of it as a competition, where you're competing against your own teammates. You want to have some repartee with your fellow panelists but you want to make sure you top them.

Then as far as networking goes, you want to socialize with the most powerful people in the room (look for the oldest men sitting next to the youngest women). Everybody else will also be trying to do the same. You will need to edge them out. Honestly, if you aren't going low cut, you're playing with a serious handicap. If you are successful, you won't need to make phone calls because they'll be calling you.

Oh, and one more thing I think I should mention. While I think I understand how this game is played. I absolutely can not play it. There's a slight chance I'm talking out my ass here. I'm an engineer. I think my knowledge and experience should speak for itself. Networking is the kind of political maneuvering that I HATE, and I just can't bring myself to do it. Mostly because schmoozing requires a certain kind of less than honest way of thinking that is the complete antithesis to the way my brain works.

Good Luck. Wish I could be there.

Not necessarily. I can't "schmooze" with someone I honestly dislike or disrespect, but it's certainly easy for me to be charming and friendly at parties and such. It's almost like flirting, minus the sexual undertones.

There's a lot of territory between a movie stereotype of a librarian and showing some cleavage, Warren. I don't think Jennifer needs your advice on how to strike the balance of looking attractive and professional but not stodgy.

EDIT: Beaten to the punch.

Warren, you offered Jennifer advice on how to conduct herself in a professional setting. You have also argued that similar conduct makes one fair game for unprofessional behavior. There is a clear contradiction.

Yes, Kerry Howley manages to get her work published (as she should!) but that has nothing to do with any of the unprofessional attention coming her way. If you actually believe that she has somehow invited that attention, how could you advise somebody else to invite that attention in a professional setting?

I'd guess that's not all you're pulling.

No, I think I get you. Hey, I had to be reasoned into the idea of accepting unemployment benefits since I didn't like the idea of taking money from a government program...

But I think perhaps you're reading too much into the networking thing. Networking, even using your social connections for your professional advantage, isn't necessarily specifically about schmoozing for jobs. Like I said, just making people aware of who you are and what you do is a kind of networking. I mean, I don't usually go around telling people "I would love to do a photo shoot with you" (although maybe I should). Just being your witty-charming-person is networking too, as long as the Who You Are and What You Do thing gets across. But then, maybe I'm telling my grandmother to suck eggs here!

We count on you, Jennifer (I always wanted to be the first to say the "count on you" thing). I may come down and attend.

JD's right about the way networking works. It rarely works that you meet someone who wants to hire you. But maybe they know someone and they mention you to them. Or maybe you meet someone of importance at a few events and get to know them well enough that you can name drop them at an interview.

If you can "make a contact" where someone gives you their contact info, that's good. You want to have a well stocked rolodex. So if you're interviewing in the same company where you have a contact, you can maybe get some inside info, or if you're very lucky have someone put a word in for you.

Networking is not straightforward, "Hey I need a job so I'm going to make you like me in the hope that you'll give me one". It's more "Hey you're somebody in a position of power, so I'm going to make you like me and then wait for an opportunity to arise so I can exploit our relationship to my advantage."

Having been on the job market from time to time, I can understand your reluctance to "network". However, asking people for help in finding work is neither dishonest nor an imposition, so long as you are upfront about why you are seeking their help. Most people find jobs because they know someone who knows someone who knows someone....

Most of the people you call will feel genuinely glad to help you. People like to help other people. I had some experience on the other side of this as well. One of my clients was the personnel manager of a regional grocery chain. I knew a teenager who was looking for work. The kid was smart and hardworking. I asked my client if he would mind if I gave the kid his number and he said he'd be glad to interview the kid on my recommendation. I gave the kid the name and number. I was very pissed off when I found out that the kid had never called. Why hadn't he called? The kid was ultra-religious and was concerned that the store might want him to work Sunday. If he'd bothered to apply, he would have found out that the owner of the chain was quite religious himself and the chain had a standing policy that nobody would be required to work on the sabbath or other day where their religion said they should not.

Moral of the story: People are happy to help others find a job. It makes them feel they are helping two friends. They also know they might need to network with you someday.

*EDIT to correct attribution. I will now attempt to remove my foot from my mouth.

OOPS.

Ever stopped to help a stranger pick up something they'd dropped? Ever given someone a hand with something even though you didn't know them? Ever had a club secretary phone you to take on a job for the club? Ever had a stranger ask you for directions? You felt good about it, didn't you?

I can't emphasize enough that people like to help people.

Do not be afraid to ask acquaintances and even strangers for help. Most (80%+) will be glad to do it. And you might even make some new friends along the way.

Honestly, if I had a single contact in your line of work, I'd be trying to put them in touch with you. So would everyone on this site.

Well, make some. Like this very weekend, you should!

Unfortunately, "contacts" aren't the sort of thing you can pick up at the store. Maybe I'll get lucky at the liberty forum, though.

I have to think of some pithy things to say about the Importance Of The Media^TM. Wasn't it Thomas Jefferson who said something like "given a choice between government and no press, or press and no government, I'd take the latter?"

That's what I am referring to in my "this very weekend" comment.

Your assignment is: Within the next week, phone three people who might have work in your line. There is a 99% chance they will say "no".
The followup to this:
1) Ask them if they know anyone who might be able to use someone with your talents. Try to get three more contacts at a minimum. Follow up those contacts the same way you did the first three.
2) Ask each person you speak to two questions: a) How did they feel about being contacted? b) How can I polish my approach?

With practice, this will get easier. I've done it and I know it works.

Secondary assignment: Remember the guy you were calling to interview whom you heard say "Shit, not HER!" Phone him up. Yep. Phone him. If he remembered you well enough to be worried by a call from you, then you made an impression on him. If he is at all professional as a politician, he is smart enough not to let a tough interview put him off. [If this bothers you, spend a few minutes scripting the call in your mind. What is the worst thing he can do? Right, He can curse at you and hang up. Which doesn't square with being a professional politician. Much more likely: He will be impressed by your moxie and give you a lead.]

You did one email and got negative feedback from it? I had dozens of rejections. I felt lower than a dacshund's belly. But I had to do it. And so do you.

So f***ing what? One of the people I called in my job search had had a screaming argument with me in the middle of the bank where I worked when I dealt with him. What is the worst he can do? Call you names and laugh at you? C'mon Jennifer, you're tougher than that!

You have to think of your job search in the same terms that you went after a story: You won't quit until you get what you want. Get out there and do it!

Jennifer,
this may be horribly cynical advice, but use your social networking to your advantage TO THE MAX. I would never have my current job if it wasn't for the people I worked for during the Ron Paul campaign, and I'm sure that some of the people who you'll meet at the CT liberty forum will be more than willing (or at least able) to help you out with getting some work, even if it's temporary contract work. And being a 1099 employee has benefits, including the ability to write off your starbucks trips and thai dinners as business expenses.

Correction: I do have a couple of contacts, but they didn't pan out. One guy hooked me up with a friend of his who is a local op-editor; however, that paper doesn't pay anything for op-eds and isn't looking for freelance reporters. (Granted, the newspaper business is dying.) Another guy introduced me to a local free-market think tank; I did a piece for them, and got paid for it, but they didn't use it because the guy-in-charge was out of town or something, and by the time he got back the piece was too outdated to use.

I was lucky enough to be offered a part-time gig doing research for a political blogger; I'm very glad to have that, since it makes me at least a little money and enables me to put something better than "Watched Star Trek" on my resume for this time period. And I have hopes that maybe THAT will lead to something better, who knows? But otherwise, I've pretty much exhausted any semblance of "contacts" I have. I am fortunate to have been invited to do this forum thing; I actually got the invitation when I was still at the Advocate, and was surprised to learn they still wanted me to speak despite my considerably lowered status.

Jennifer:

1) Congratulations on being on the panel. This is a form of recognition.

2) Networking is hard for me too, so I understand. I'm actually a pretty reserved person who mingles poorly; I couldn't handle being in a room full of strangers and trying to talk to them. I get the impression that you are better at this, however.

Just the fact that you are on the panel will cause people to have some curiosity about you, who you are, what you do. Just as you probably have some curiosity about other people on the panel and might want to to talk to them and ask them questions if you had the chance ... even if you had no interest in networking them for job leads. Just talk to them. Don't be shy about telling them what you do and where you used to work and that you're looking for a new job. There's no need to force it, but it's likely to come up naturally in any conversation longer than a few words.

Someone more expert in this might tell you to target certain people -- like the guy who works for the Hartford Courant. You could ask him what it's like working there, are they growing, talk about how it's hard for papers to compete against the Internet now, and mention that you used to work for the WH Advocate but got laid off there. And that's probably all you have to work into the conversation. You probably don't have to come out and ask him if he'd have any leads because once he heard you were laid off he'd probably volunteer them, if he has any that he would share.

Before the forum, you can Google the other panelists and see if there is anything else about them that makes you curious and that you'd like to ask them questions about. Or, just as good, you may run across something they've done that you admire. At the forum, you can tell them that. Then maybe follow up with a question: "I saw the thing you wrote about X ... I was wondering how you got involved in that topic." People rarely mind when you tell them that you like the work they do -- unless they are are Julian Sanchez, in which case the worst possible response from him is that he might withhold sex.

If it's too forced, don't do it, IMO. You probably don't want to come off as someone who's working it too overtly. You can keep it casual. But it is a chance for a lot of people to get to know who you are and see what you are like in person. Who knows what that might lead to.

You can always consider it practice -- getting comfortable in that kind of situation, for the time when you feel like networking "for real." One way or another, you can consider it just "laying some groundwork." You can just push the professional networking angle out of your head and just talk to people. Maybe get an idea for a free-lance article you can pitch. But mostly just satisfy your curiosity.

One suggestion I do have -- you don't have time to implement it before this weekend, but for some future occasion: Even though you are currently self-employed, you can still have business cards made up with your name and contact information, and identifying yourself as "Free-lance writer and journalist." I don't think it's that expensive to have a couple hundred printed up. I think places will design one for you too -- or maybe Jeff can help you there.

You don't need to force them on people, but if it's natural to leave them some contact information for future reference. And hey, don't you have a professional blog with your writing samples up now? Put the URL on your card too. Or in this case, maybe you don't mind if members of this audience see your personal blog. Invite people to check out some of the topics you've written about in your blog. Not necessarily because you're looking to leverage a job interview from it, but because you think they might be interesting in reading some of the topics.

Or, you could leave off the personal blog's URL, but write it down on the back of one of your cards if you want to invite people there to check it out. Just because, you know, they might be interested. And your business card just happens to be something handy to write on. That gives them your contact info if they ever need it. And if they read your stuff, they'll definitely remember you. Especially the articles about the furries and phone sex. You might even recommend that they read those specifically.

That's all I've got. Except for noting, once again, that you always have an excessively dim view of your potential and prospects. Watch that. You are your own harshest critic, and unnecessarily so. Don't gloom yourself up.

I haven't done explicit networking, but I have gone to happy hours, introduced myself to people, and eventually (in DC, "eventually is about 3.5 seconds in) someone will ask "what do you do?" and I tell them. This resulted in Gillespie introducing me to their VP of operations, who invited us to bid on the reason.com redesign--we went from being unknown to just losing out (on price) to the guy who did Cato.org and had known Julian Sanchez and others for a long time. A bit later, at another happy hour, I talked to the same VP, who asked how things were going, and I mentioned that I might be starting to look around for another job, "so if you know anybody..." and he said, well, maybe us. So I interviewed with them, but nothing came of it (what they were looking for was a different set than what I'm good at). But basically it was a conversation that led to an interview.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, if you don't feel comfortable doing the high-pressure networking (I don't), try just being sociable, then mentioning your situation, and then just say "so if you know of anybody who might be interested..."

Also, go to Staples or whatever office supply store is nearby, and get sheets of printable business cards that you can put through your printer. Word has a template for them. Print them up with your contact number and, instead of a company, put "freelance writer, journalist." Do this now. (you're unemployed, what else ya got to do today? ;) )

Argh, Jennifer - you are acting defeatist about this whole thing. I hate to sound like some stupid motivational speaker, or Dad, but one can choose either to wallow in it or to get out there and do something, anything. I know it's hard. I spend plenty of time kicking myself over things I do or don't do, and coming up with various reasons to justify not doing anything. But seriously, doing anything is a big step up over doing nothing.

Here's something simple: find out who else will be there at the event. Find something they did, and write them email just to say, "Hey, I really liked that thing you did." People always like praise, and you're not asking them for anything. They will probably write back just to say thanks, and even if not, no big deal. Then when you meet them at the event, you're not meeting them completely "cold" - you can say, "Hey, I'm Jennifer; we exchanged email about XYZ" and they already have a mental hook and some positive associations for you. I do this sort of thing all the time now: "Hi, I'm JD; I was the photographer at the Student Showcase who sent you that picture of you", or "Hey, I saw you a couple months ago at Don Hill's; it's great to see you again."

Plus - and this is weird, but I think it works - it helps to have a visual "hook" too. I have unusual facial hair, plus I'm devastatingly handsome of course, so people usually remember having seen me. With your red hair and your good looks, you've got a good visual hook too. It's always good to be the distinctive one.

Eat Lucky Charms the morning of the forum. Wear a charm bracelet. Wipe with Charmin. EDIT: but don't squeeze it.

Forum starts tomorrow and my panel is on Sunday.

De nada, Ali. I'm not expecting anything to come of this.

The forum itself was rather dull, but there might be something good to come of it: I wrote a blog post about the Saturday night keynote speaker (a raving nutball from the Minuteman Project who, among other things, apparently thinks that the word "Muslim" refers to people from a country called "Islam," same way "American" refers to people from a country called "The United States"), and the executive editor from a local paper made an interested comment on my blog. We had an e-mail discussion before I left for Nova Scotia, and I *might* as a result get a column in his paper. Too early to tell; I just got back last night and right now am simply too tired to write him back, for fear he'd want to speak with me tonight.

In light of all the disappointments I've had since leaving my last job, however, I'm not going to get my hopes up about this.

In the sample columns I'm writing for the guy, I'm not even trying to mention finances because I'm so utterly fucking disgusted by the whole matter of welfare-for-megamillionaires and more bailouts for AIG since those Caribbean vacations won't pay for themselves, I know better than to think anything I wrote now would come out sounding funny rather than snippy. May as well call it the "Let Them Eat Cake" bill (yes, I know Marie Antoinette never actually said that).